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Chip and Cern Show

Aug 11, 2016

Every 4 years the Summer Olympics come upon us. This year the Olympics are in Rio. Chip isn’t as pumped up for the Olympics as he was when he was a kid. Cern agrees. Early on the sports are that entertaining for Americans. The US Basketball team is smoking teams by 40 points. Rio has caused a huge issue, land of the phat asses, because of water pollution, crime and lack of police force. By the time they figured out that Rio didn’t have their shit together it was too late to do anything. 
An article said that a water athlete who swim in this area are guaranteed to become sick. There was supposed to be a billion dollar project to fix that, but it never was done. Some athletes already have been mugged by people dressed as police officers. 
Cern said he would take a rape if he was selected for the olympics. 
During the kayaking event a participant was capsized because he hit a sofa that was under water. This dudes Olympic dreams are crushed cause of a sofa. 
Cern was watching some beach volleyball and they made sure to state how clean the sand was. Chip wants to be the laundry guy after the Puerto Rico v Brazil beach volleyball. Sniff. 
The following is the Chip and Cern “Yay or Nay” on the sports of the 2016 Rio Olympics:
Swimming including water polos and Michael Phelps stuff. That gets the yay.
Canoeing: Nay from Cern and Chip is on the fence. 
Cycling including mountain biking, track and more. Cern is on the fence and Chip is a lock because he is a cyclist himself.
Figure skating: Cern grumbles no. He doesn’t look forward to watching it and doesn’t seek it out. Curling is worth it in the Winter Olympics. Chip turned Cern on the canoeing. 
Volleyball: Duh double yay from Chip and Cern. Just cause of the booty.
As Chip calls them “horse things”: Is this the athlete doing it or the horse. Chip and Cern give it a nay.
Wresting: The OG olympic sport gets a double yay from Chip and Cern.
Archery: This is kinda the horse situation where who is doing the work? The bow or the archer? Chip puts a maybe on it. 
Athletics: Double yay. Cern likes to see the track and field. 
Badminton: Chip wants to watch it for 10 minutes to see how good everyone is then turn it off. 
Table tennis: Chip would cut badminton to save table tennis.
Basketball: Double yay.
Boxing: Cern is ok for the boxing. 
Fencing: That is a cool one to tune into. Worth the watch for sure, Chip wants to see someone get stabbed.
Field hockey: Ehhh.
Football (soccer): Yay, but they have FIFA and the World Cup, so why do you need the olympics too. Cern doesn’t really watch soccer. 
Golf: Cern wouldn’t watch it, but would check the scores. Chip doesn’t have the time to watch all the rounds of golf.
Handball: Chip would watch just to see what it was about. 
Judo: Chip would be interested in it and Cern agrees. 
Pentathlon: yay
Rowing: Classic you have to have that.
Rugby: This is the first year it is in. 
Sailing: Ehh
Shooting: Yay
Taekwondo: They just rolled passed this one.
Tennis: Yay
Triathlon: Yay cause Chip does this himself. 
Chip and Cern talk DISCONTINUED Olympics sports. 
Baseball: Chip and Cern are very disappointed about this. 
Another style of rugby.
Basque Pelota: A weird ass sport sorta like squash. Only 2 teams were in the 1900 Olympics and Spain won the gold and France the silver. The score was unknown. 
Cricket: Cern is surprised that it is gone because it is such an international game. The games go for so long it is hard to manage.
Lacrosse: Surprising that is isn’t a sport cause it has so much popularity recently. 
Why do they eliminate sports form the Olympic sports? TV views? Diversity of 
Softball: Bring it back.
Tug of War: Last happening in the 1908 games and USA won 3 medals. 
The entire Olympics is only two weeks long, which is strange because there is 4 years of hype. 
With the Winter Olympics you can get your Olympic fix every two years. Both Chip and Cern don’t have the sense of pride that they used to be having.
Chip thinks that all the controversy at the different Olympics in China with the fake fireworks, and singing, etc people lose the pride. 
If the Olympics were local and the prices weren’t too crazy Chip and Cern would be there to watch them. San Francisco or LA Chip and Cern would be there unless it was $500 to see some horse race. 
The before and after picture of the huge expensive stadium and now it is a Burger King. Chip thinks that the Olympics need to be in first world countries because they can handle everything. When the Olympics are elsewhere the money is wasted. 
The sport that Cern won’t miss is the 100m dash. Both, Gatlin and Gay are going to light it up. Chip likes the swimming cause Phelps. He will also look at the cycling and triathlon. Table tennis would be fun to watch as well. 
What Olympic sport do you HAVE to see? Tweet us at @chipandcernshow or email at
The Russians should all be banned and the state mandated doping is insane. Maybe that is why everyone isn’t super pumped  because of all the cheating. 
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