Jul 7, 2016
Chip and Cern discuss the half way point of the 2016 baseball
season, the All-Star game and an update to the ongoing fantasy
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Chip found his water.
Fantasy baseball check in. Chip hasn’t been doing fantasy
baseball because he cannot handle the shit talking and ultra
competitive nature of playing with friends and more accurately
Tony, who doesn’t listen and is a sonovabitch. There are 12 teams
in the fantasy league and that was the comminisher's
Cern’s team has gone winless in 11 games. Chip is 4-8, so he
isn’t doing much better. Chip and Cern were both elated to have
Cern’s 1st victory against Tony.
Chip dodged the snake in the grass that is Cern’s team. The
next week Cern played Tony’s team who went belly up and really bent
over to take it from Cern’s team.
Chip tries to dig into why Cern’s team was struggling to get
some wins. On paper his team looks great, but during the week’s
performance it is subpar.
Chip will send any insider trading info to Cern, so they can
get out of the fantasy baseball dumps. Chip started his season off
too conservative and didn’t make any real moves. He finally
“dropped those bitches” and stopped going all Dusty Baker on
Brian McCann was really under producing for Chip’s team and
was benched then of course scored a ton of points.
Cern had Michael Saunders on his team. He was listed
day-to-day on the app, so Cern benched him. On that same day he had
a career day and scored 25 points to which Cern’s team got 0
because he was benched. Stat boy Dana sent a group text and Cern
too the brunt of the assault. Chip saw that a player was batting
and already had 5k on the day with the possibility of 6k, the
Cern asks if Chip is going to do fantasy football, but he only
likes head to head weekly pools because it is less
Chip then realizes that they are off task talking about
football and tries to right the ship.
If you have any fantasy sports story share with us at
We would like to take this time to remind you that Tony’s team
got beat by both Chip and Cern.
Cern’s team name is Anal Symphony. Chip must know why. Cern
said it was assigned to him as a rookie in a more serious league
and he did so well with it he has adopted it.
Chip then derails the convo to talk about why he was #13 in
Little League baseball.
Who should start: Salvador Perez, Royals.
Who will start: Perez.
He leads all vote-getters for the second straight year.
Who should start: Eric Hosmer, Royals.
Who will start: Hosmer.
Who should start: Jose Altuve, Astros.
The Mariners’ Robinson Cano has put up better power numbers,
but Altuve — who’s third in the majors with 21 stolen bases — is
having the better overall season.
Who should start: Manny Machado, Orioles.
Who will start: Machado.
Who should start: Xander Bogaerts, Red Sox.
Who will start: Bogaerts.
Who should start: Mark Trumbo, Orioles; Mike Trout,
Angels and Jackie Bradley Jr., Red Sox.
Who will start: Trout, Bradley Jr. and Mookie Betts, Red
Who should start: David Ortiz, Red Sox.
Who will start: Ortiz.
Who should start: Wilson Ramos, Nationals.
Who will start: Buster Posey, Giants.
Who should start: Anthony Rizzo, Cubs.
Who should start: Daniel Murphy, Nationals.
Who will start: Ben Zobrist, Cubs.
Who should start: Kris Bryant, Cubs.
Who should start: Corey Seager, Dodgers.
Who will start: Addison Russell, Cubs.
Who should start: Yoenis Cespedes, Mets; Adam Duvall,
Reds; Bryce Harper, Nationals.
Who will start: Harper; Cespedes and Dexter Fowler,
Chip and Cern call for action about the one representative
from each team. Is the All-Star game going to be serious and
actually matter or is it going to be for the fans?
Joe Buck Fuck Off Buck Off.
Chip finds it annoying when half the infield is all from the
Chip then looks up the wrong fantasy points like a slapdick.
He was using the wrong filter sorting and cannot read.
Chip gets nervous when players are switching teams or moving
leagues. Always apprehensive to draft anyone who is jumping
Neither Chip or Cern voted for the All Stars this year because
it doesn’t fucking matter.
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