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Chip and Cern Show

Jul 7, 2016

Chip and Cern discuss the half way point of the 2016 baseball season, the All-Star game and an update to the ongoing fantasy baseball season.
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Chip found his water.
Fantasy baseball check in. Chip hasn’t been doing fantasy baseball because he cannot handle the shit talking and ultra competitive nature of playing with friends and more accurately Tony, who doesn’t listen and is a sonovabitch. There are 12 teams in the fantasy league and that was the comminisher's fault. 
Cern’s team has gone winless in 11 games. Chip is 4-8, so he isn’t doing much better. Chip and Cern were both elated to have Cern’s 1st victory against Tony. 
Chip dodged the snake in the grass that is Cern’s team. The next week Cern played Tony’s team who went belly up and really bent over to take it from Cern’s team. 
Chip tries to dig into why Cern’s team was struggling to get some wins. On paper his team looks great, but during the week’s performance it is subpar. 
Chip will send any insider trading info to Cern, so they can get out of the fantasy baseball dumps. Chip started his season off too conservative and didn’t make any real moves. He finally “dropped those bitches” and stopped going all Dusty Baker on it.
Brian McCann was really under producing for Chip’s team and was benched then of course scored a ton of points.
Cern had Michael Saunders on his team. He was listed day-to-day on the app, so Cern benched him. On that same day he had a career day and scored 25 points to which Cern’s team got 0 because he was benched. Stat boy Dana sent a group text and Cern too the brunt of the assault. Chip saw that a player was batting and already had 5k on the day with the possibility of 6k, the titanium sombrero.  
Cern asks if Chip is going to do fantasy football, but he only likes head to head weekly pools because it is less effort. 
Chip then realizes that they are off task talking about football and tries to right the ship.
If you have any fantasy sports story share with us at @chipandcernshow.
We would like to take this time to remind you that Tony’s team got beat by both Chip and Cern.
Cern’s team name is Anal Symphony. Chip must know why. Cern said it was assigned to him as a rookie in a more serious league and he did so well with it he has adopted it. 
Chip then derails the convo to talk about why he was #13 in Little League baseball.
On to the MLB All-Star game which is July 12th. Chip and Cern reference the San Diego Tribune ( article of who should be starting the All-Star game. This is a fan voting thing, so teams where they have nothing to do vote a ton and end up voting in their players. Half of the Royals are being voted in and way to many Cubs. 
American League
Who should start: Salvador Perez, Royals.
Who will start: Perez.
He leads all vote-getters for the second straight year.
Who should start: Eric Hosmer, Royals.
Who will start: Hosmer.
Who should start: Jose Altuve, Astros.
The Mariners’ Robinson Cano has put up better power numbers, but Altuve — who’s third in the majors with 21 stolen bases — is having the better overall season.
Who will start: Altuve.
Who should start: Manny Machado, Orioles.
Who will start: Machado.
Who should start: Xander Bogaerts, Red Sox.
Who will start: Bogaerts.
Who should start: Mark Trumbo, Orioles; Mike Trout, Angels and Jackie Bradley Jr., Red Sox.
Who will start: Trout, Bradley Jr. and Mookie Betts, Red Sox.
Who should start: David Ortiz, Red Sox.
Who will start: Ortiz.
National League
Who should start: Wilson Ramos, Nationals.
Who will start: Buster Posey, Giants.
Who should start: Anthony Rizzo, Cubs.
Who will start: Rizzo.
Who should start: Daniel Murphy, Nationals.
Who will start: Ben Zobrist, Cubs.
Who should start: Kris Bryant, Cubs.
Who will start: Bryant.
Who should start: Corey Seager, Dodgers.
Who will start: Addison Russell, Cubs.
Who should start: Yoenis Cespedes, Mets; Adam Duvall, Reds; Bryce Harper, Nationals.
Who will start: Harper; Cespedes and Dexter Fowler, Cubs.
Chip and Cern call for action about the one representative from each team. Is the All-Star game going to be serious and actually matter or is it going to be for the fans?
Joe Buck Fuck Off Buck Off.
Chip finds it annoying when half the infield is all from the same team.
Chip then looks up the wrong fantasy points like a slapdick. He was using the wrong filter sorting and cannot read.
Chip gets nervous when players are switching teams or moving leagues. Always apprehensive to draft anyone who is jumping teams.
Neither Chip or Cern voted for the All Stars this year because it doesn’t fucking matter.
Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo.
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