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Chip and Cern Show

Aug 18, 2016

Chip and Cern dive back into the craze that is Pokemon Go! If you missed the first Pokemon Go podcast be sure to listen to that. If you need some Chip and Cern Show swag like hats, and shirts check out the shop. 
Chip and Cern are drinking Saint Archer Double IPA. They are already off topic talking about how beer is now coming in cans. Bottles used to be the craze back in the day, but cans are making a comeback. 
Here is where Chip and Cern say you should drink a can or a bottle. Chip peels his labels. Cern rubs the top label.
Bar: Bottle
Inside watching the game: can or bottle
BBQ: Bottle
Park: Can
Ok Chip and Cern are back on focus. After a few more weeks of playing Pokemon Go Chip and Cern give you a state of the union and an update on some stats. 
Both Chip and Cern were under level 10 and Cern’s best Pokemon was level 400. Cern has been logging some serious hours in Pokemon to try to catch up with the rest of the guys. You can move up levels pretty quickly in the beginning, but once you get his above level 20 you need over 100k of XP. 
Chip asks Cern what makes the game fun for Cern. Catching the Pokemon, evolving or leveling up. Cern likes to catch a rare Pokemon with decent CP, so he can be a big swinging dick at the local gyms. Chip enjoys catching different Pokemon and getting big CP ones. He likes to evolve them and sometimes battle in the gyms. Cern has yet to fight in the gym because his Pokemon are at a lower level than most others around. Cern’s brother fucking swooped in when a gym was pending on being taken over. Major dick move, but he got his gym in the gym. Chip has had a gym he took down sniped. 
Cern doesn’t live in a rural area, but not a massive city like San Francisco. When he went to the Giants game he was in awe of all the Pokestops around. On Chip’s drive into Cern’s neighborhood he passed two Pokestops in 5 miles. At Chip’s desk in San Francisco he has two Pokestops always full of lures. 
Chip and Cern had their erect, throbbing cocks out and were comparing their Pokedexs and Cern had less, but Chip hadn’t even seen a good amount of the ones that Cern has.
Cern lives next to a lake, so there are some water Pokemon, but nothing like he saw in Oakland on the way to the Giants game. Cern has a lot of Pickachu’s and Chip has only found one. Chip was pissed he can’t get more that one of those yellow fuckers. Cern’s brother was surprised to see several Charmander around Cern’s neighborhood. 
Niantac, pronounced knee-in-tac, had a really hard time when the game first was released because their servers were getting fucked harder than Pam Anderson’s 90’s bush as Chip put it. Tommy Lee was deep dicking the Niantac servers. 
They have since done some app updates that have fixed a lot of the issues, but it exposed a bug which would tell you when a Pokemon was close. This was the “three step bug” where it would always show 3 steps no matter how close you were to a Pokemon. The Reddit folks, a fickle bunch, demand a response and tons of shit from this company who made a free game which they are enjoying. Fuck them says Chip. 
Cern used Pokevision. It was a map that used API/GPS to tell you where people had caught a Pokemon. It was a separate app and would show you how long ago someone caught a Pokemon and how much time was left before that Pokemon was spawning was over. Chip asks if that takes away from the spirit of the game. Cern says no because it helps him meet his goal of catching them all. PokeVision was shut down by Niantac which caused a huge issue because it was causing a lot of issues with the servers. 
Cern asks Chip what his best Pokemon is now. Level 1400 Vaperon. Chip got some new lucky eggs which doubles your XP for 30 mins. Chip saved up all his evolves, Pidgeys and everything to maximize his XP in that 30 mins. Chip had saved up and spent the lucky egg on his lunch and walked down to the Ferry Building and got about 55k XP in 30 mins. Chip finished and it was cool to get all these new Pokemon who filled out his Pokedex. Cern’s best is also Vaperon around 8-900. 
People are hoping that trading and battling other trainers is a new feature.
The old Gameboys you could link up your Gameboys with a USB type cable and battle each other. Chip had one of the OG Gameboys, but about 5 years after they came out. 
Cern speaks of a new Nintendo that has 60 games and is about 60 bucks. You can plug it into your TV and play all the classics. 
Chip found that the original Gameboy cost $89.99 in July of 1989. There is no way Chip’s parents bought his this thing brand new. In 1995 after tons of new Gameboys came out, Chip’s parents finally bought a Gameboy at a garage sale for $10 bucks. The first game they bought was Madden ’95 and his parents were amazed how much the game cost, so they realized they made a big mistake with the Gameboy purchase. 
Chip felt that using the lucky eggs and getting tons of XP and walking back from the Ferry Building he wasn’t as into the game. The game won’t be fun for Chip if he is just catching tons of Pidgeys just to level up. 
Cern recalls when he caught his first Charmander and was so excited. He got his Great Ball ready and caught that fiery bastard. Chip recalls of a time when a Pidgey escaped multiple Ultra Balls because Chip was trying to catch him just on principle. 
The newest update fixed the ability to catch of some Pokemon. Chip has noticed that there are a more diverse batch of Pokemon since the new updates. 
There was a story that broke that someone in Idaho caught a rare bird. Chip has no idea of any Pokemon above the 150 basic ones. They caught this rare ice bird and then Niantac revoked the birds from the trainers accounts. Chip wouldn’t be posting all over Facebook about how he caught this glitch Pokemon. Chip tells Cern how to properly pronounce Niantac. If Chip caught this rare Pokemon he would tell Cern and then dominate some local gyms. Chip relates it to having a big 12” dong and having it out at a family reunion that is how proud he would be. 
Chip takes it on a weird tangent about finding things that aren’t yours. Chip sets the story of finding some cash in the store and when to return it. Chip will look around to see if there is anyone nearby to give the money back to. No amount of money would Chip or Cern turn into the store. If the money was in a money clip he would turn it in as would Cern. Chip found $13 bucks when walking his dogs one night and he finds the needs to share with everyone in this podcast. That sorta related to Pokemon, except that they found something that wasn’t theirs. Cern still struggles to pronounce Niantac, which could be from the Saint Archer Double IPA. Chip and Cern are #TeamInstinct. 
If you are really enjoying Pokemon Go let Chip and Cern know on Twitter, FB and/or gmail.
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