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Chip and Cern Show

Jan 5, 2017

Welcome, 2017! Chip and Cern are back and better than ever in 2017. Right out of the gate they bring in Stat Boy Dana for his insights on the MLB Winter Meetings. Who is still a free agent and what big moves have been made?
The MLB theme song plays and brings cheer to Chip and Cern. Chip cannot say midst very well, but luckily Cern is there to help. Dana is the first phone guest of the Chip and Cern Show, what a massive accomplishment by Stat Boy Dana. 
The big theme of the 2017 MLB Winter Meetings is closers. Chapman, Melancon, Wade Davis and Jensen. 
Dana really hates Bryce Harper and Chip loves him so that always makes for jabbing. The San Francisco Giants set a record for most blown save with close to 30 saves and STILL make the playoffs. Chip, Cern, and Dana are all happy the Giants passed on the 100+ mph throwing Chapman. Chip still is struggling over pronouncing Melancon’s last name.
Joe gets roasted early this podcast and Dana is on his stats, as per usual. 
Chip saw a report that they are going to offer prospects entering the MLB draft an optional MRI on their throwing arms to ease concerns about needing Tommy John surgery. Chip says he might get a Tommy John surgery cause he has been tugging his pud a bunch and could make a comeback. 
Chip and Cern start looking at Justin Turner calling him “The Ugliest MLB Player of 2017” and then Chip starts looking on MLB wives website. Chip give the free plug to His wife is super model hot and Turner just has a fiery red beard and long locks. Chip then takes a peek at all the player’s wives and it takes a somber turn when Chip discover’s John Lackey’s wife has died a few years ago. 
Chip seems to be obsessed with half arm pitchers. 
Chip and Dana bet on the fact that Bryce Harper will win one MVP award. Chip will win $20 from Dana if Harper wins one regular season MVP award. Cern sides with Chip on who has the advantage of this bet between Chip and Dana. 
Dana’s distain for Harper rears it’s head in this podcast. 
Dana says the Giants scored a B+ in the Winter Meetings. He says they are still missing a big bat. Chip and Cern agree on that front. 
Cern loves the Crazy Crab Sandwich at AT&T Park which will run you about $40 bucks with a beer. He will then eat this damn sandwich in about 2 bites, so if you get the chance to watch Cern eat one you are really missing out. 
Chip recalls a story of when he was heckling Charlie Blackman on the Rockies by yelling his shitty tweets back at him. 
Jose Bautista had some shitty stats for thinking he is all about himself and that he is worth so much coin. 
Chip, Cern, and Dana just continue to speculate on people that the Giants should sign this off season. 
Chip and Cern break into Wilford Brimley impressions because of some weird umpire mustache tangent. 
Joe doesn’t like JP Howell. Dana informs Chip and Cern that Joe played Jr. College baseball with Howell and that is why he doesn’t like him. Then Joe proceeds to get ROASTED for the next few mins.
The Braves signed a 43-year-old Bartolo Colon, who Chip suggest has a big, thick cock which is how he got the name “Big Sexy.”
How did your team fair in the Winter Meetings? Let us know on social media. 
Chip and Cern are excited about the cool collaboration with Elemental Supply Co
Be sure to spread the word around and tell your friends about the Chip and Cern Show. The radio is dying and podcasts are coming, so be ready. You can plug your phone into your car and listen when driving around. 
If you wanting a free sticker, shoot an email to and we will give you one. Thanks again to Michael Spiegel Design for the great logo he did an awesome job with our logo design. 
As always we appreciate you spreading the word with your friends, coworkers, family and churchgoing community members. The Hits v1The Hits v2 and The Hits v3 are a great into to the Chip and Cern Show, so share those!