Jan 5, 2017
Welcome, 2017! Chip and Cern are back and better than ever in
2017. Right out of the gate they bring in Stat Boy Dana for his
insights on the MLB Winter Meetings. Who is still a free agent and
what big moves have been made?
The MLB theme song plays and brings cheer to Chip and Cern.
Chip cannot say midst very well, but luckily Cern is there to help.
Dana is the first phone guest of the Chip and Cern Show, what a
massive accomplishment by Stat Boy Dana.
The big theme of the 2017 MLB Winter Meetings is closers.
Chapman, Melancon, Wade Davis and Jensen.
Dana really hates Bryce Harper and Chip loves him so that
always makes for jabbing. The San Francisco Giants set a record for
most blown save with close to 30 saves and STILL make the playoffs.
Chip, Cern, and Dana are all happy the Giants passed on the 100+
mph throwing Chapman. Chip still is struggling over pronouncing
Melancon’s last name.
Joe gets roasted early this podcast and Dana is on his stats,
as per usual.
Chip saw a report that they are going to offer prospects
entering the MLB draft an optional MRI on their throwing arms to
ease concerns about needing Tommy John surgery. Chip says he might
get a Tommy John surgery cause he has been tugging his pud a bunch
and could make a comeback.
Chip and Cern start looking at Justin Turner calling him “The
Ugliest MLB Player of 2017” and then Chip starts looking on MLB
wives website. Chip give the free plug to http://www.playerwives.com/
wife is super model hot and Turner just has a fiery red beard and
long locks. Chip then takes a peek at all the player’s wives and it
takes a somber turn when Chip discover’s John Lackey’s wife has
died a few years ago.
Chip seems to be obsessed with half arm pitchers.
Chip and Dana bet on the fact that Bryce Harper will win one
MVP award. Chip will win $20 from Dana if Harper wins one regular
season MVP award. Cern sides with Chip on who has the advantage of
this bet between Chip and Dana.
Dana’s distain for Harper rears it’s head in this
Dana says the Giants scored a B+ in the Winter Meetings. He
says they are still missing a big bat. Chip and Cern agree on that
Cern loves the Crazy Crab Sandwich at AT&T Park which will
run you about $40 bucks with a beer. He will then eat this damn
sandwich in about 2 bites, so if you get the chance to watch Cern
eat one you are really missing out.
Chip recalls a story of when he was heckling Charlie Blackman
on the Rockies by yelling his shitty tweets back at
Jose Bautista had some shitty stats for thinking he is all
about himself and that he is worth so much coin.
Chip, Cern, and Dana just continue to speculate on people that
the Giants should sign this off season.
Chip and Cern break into Wilford Brimley impressions
because of some weird umpire mustache tangent.
Joe doesn’t like JP Howell. Dana informs Chip and Cern that
Joe played Jr. College baseball with Howell and that is why he
doesn’t like him. Then Joe proceeds to get ROASTED for the next few
The Braves signed a 43-year-old Bartolo Colon, who Chip
suggest has a big, thick cock which is how he got the name “Big
How did your team fair in the Winter Meetings? Let us know on
Be sure to spread the word around and tell your friends about
the Chip and Cern Show. The radio is dying and podcasts are coming,
so be ready. You can plug your phone into your car and listen when