May 12, 2016
Fort Point Brewery is an amazing Official UnOfficial Sponsor.
Check out their beers at the Ferry Building in San Francisco. Chip
and Cern have special guest Dana “The Stat Boy” in today and they
are enjoying Fort Point Brewing Company’s KSA beer.
Cern’s all-time favorite band Guns n Roses has reunited. Cern
gets to pick his favorite Guns n Roses song to play. Chip is going
to pay for Cern’s ticket to see Guns N Roses play in San Francisco.
For playing two shows in Coachella GnR made $8 million. Axel is
also covering lead for AC/DC. Cern can’t operate the iPhone because
he is obsessed with Samsung. Chip plugged the wrong cables into the
board and is a slap dick. Cern may tear up at the GnR show. Sal
Hudson is Slash’s actual name. Joe loves Coors Light, The Silver
Bullet. Joe is drinking like a hobo and drinking Hamms beer from
the corner liquor store. Cern is now worried about getting dick
punched by Joe. Cern picks his second favorite song and has the
date memorized for the GnR Show in San Francisco. Cern picks
Welcome to the Jungle off Appetite for Description. Cerney doesn’t
recognize Chinese Democracy as an official GnR album.
Chip goes into his distorted youth. He couldn’t watch the OG
Batman until 13 because of the rules his parents put in place. Chip
remembers in 2000 that he can watch Batman and other PG-13 movies.
When Chip was 20 he saw a PG-13 movie and his parents were
disappointed he saw such a movie.
Dana’s old man loved KISS and Zeppelin. Chip’s brother doesn’t
know any music. Didn’t know who Lynyrd Skynyrd is or the song
Freebird. He didn’t know Rolling Stones, CCR or any songs. He asked
if the Rolling Stones were a good band. Cern is beyond excited for
the show and has wanted their reunion for years.
Both Cern and Dana have bought new houses and they are filled
with frustrations. Cern has to consult his notepad of rants.
“Frustrating” is the word Dana uses to describes home buying
experience. 1st home for Dana and this is the 3rd for Cern. Cern
demands the brass tacks from his realtor. Lots of home buying
stories and dealings with the mortgage companies. Offers, counter
offers and tons of back and forth. Cern went through 3 loan
companies before he settled on one.
Cern has some appraiser stories from hell with his house
inspections. Cern’s wife posted on FB she never wants to buy a
house again and then it was in the “Memories” section from 2011
when they bought their 1st house.
Joe helped Dana move and he is cheap cause you can pay him
with beer. Chip talks about moving out of his folks house and into
his first place with his wife. Where you have to buy more stuff to
fill your house up than you are bringing in. Dana tosses our a free
plug for RC Willy.
Cern nearly dumps his fridge off the uHaul ramp. Cern has a
obsession with Samsung. Range stove, washer, dryer, microwave,
fridge and dishwasher are all Samsung. Cern needs a Samsung TV that
the guys are going to have Joe move for them. Cern got the black
stainless on all his Samsung appliances.
Chip shares his moving story from when Cern bailed on him and
he had to move his entire apartment solo.
Cern starts a banana intervention for Chip. Chip’s wife talked
to Cern about his problem with ordering too much bananas on
Instacart. He ordered 36 bananas at once. Cern HATES then, not even
Runts. Chip eats lots of fruit and even the skin of a kiwi. Chip
doesn’t eat grapefruit. Cern doesn’t own a banana hanger. Lots of
banana talk. Probably too much banana talk to be
honest.
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