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Chip and Cern Show

Oct 27, 2016

Cern’s company had it’s annual golf tournament which is an annual tradition at Cern’s place of work to take the day off, drink beers at 8am and shoot a round of golf with your buddies and coworkers. 
Joe, Statboy Dana, Chip and even Tony received an invite for this golf outing. Everyone could make it except Tony. It was a “best ball” style event where everyone tees off then you play off the best ball. It is a pretty fun way to play because you usually have a decent shot out of the 4 that are taken each time. There was a rule that you had to take at least two of each person’s drives for the round.
Cern and Chip used to golf a little bit in college when Chip lived in the same town as Cern. Cern recalls that Chip just said “let’s golf” and it was done. Chip and Cern both went to Sports Authority (RIP) and both got the $150 for the complete bag of clubs. Chip’s wife Kristen was a stellar golfer in high school and came along to give them some pointers. She quickly gave up because she realized we were a lost cause.
Every Saturday Chip and Cern would pay $12 for 9 holes with a cart at a local course. They would get a bag of Redman chew, some drinks and go golfing. Chip once drilled a shank and it hit and old man at this course. 
They would get decent because they were constantly playing for a few months, but then they fell out of it. Cern last played golf the year before and Chip probably played 7 years ago. 
The event was well put on and it was a great day. In the morning there was some burritos, fruit and coffee to enjoy. Also there was some free sunglasses and golf balls by their big sponsors. All the details were there to the T. 
Cern lost 12 balls. Chip lost about 5 or 6. Everyone had a great time. Chip will only have fun at an event if he is doing well at it, so he was trying to bust out of this 7 year lack of golf he was playing. 
Chip was the only guy who didn’t have his own clubs, like a slapdick. 
Chip goes to tee up at the driving range and then took a big ol swing and took a huge WIFFFFFF. The second one was a worm burner that Chip topped and it went around 25 yards.
Cern didn’t get any practice in before and blew the dust off his clubs before. There is so many old bags of sunflower seeds, old bags of Redman chew and old beer cans in there.
Chip didn’t know what a scramble tournament was and it was a teaching moment for him.
Joe was by far the best golfer, so everyone was riding off Joe’s back. Despite Cern living ON A GOLF COURSE he doesn’t play at all. After 2pm it is $20 to play until it is dark which is a hellova deal. 
Golf really isn’t one of those sports that is fun to play by yourself. It is fun to fuck around with your friends and talk trash. 
Joe had a range finder, so he was spotting the distance for every hole which was really helpful. Dana came out of the gate with some solid game play. They were able to use his his drives within the first few holes. 
Drinking whilst playing golf. What is the limit where it is too much booze? Cern said he is good for about 3 tall cans worth which is about right. Just enough to take the stress off, but not enough to be sloppy and drunk. 
Both Chip and Cern would collapse when the pressure was on and they really needed his drive.
Chip was taking a few days off drinking for a few weeks and this golf tourney was right in the thick of it. About 7:30am the first beer was cracked, so it got started early. 
The weather was great and everyone had their Chip and Cern Show hat on and it was a fun time. Cern did forget to bring his hat, not because of embarrassment, but having separation of personal life and work life. Work is something that you go to, get a check and go home at 5. Chip and Cern validate to themselves that they do like the podcast and wear the hats.
Chip got home at 2:30p and took a nap when he got home. Being in the sun, some beer and several hours of exercise really took a toll on Chip and he needed to recharge his batteries. 
Chip wants to now get into golf and get some clubs. He knows it is will be a costly endeavor and also knows he doesn’t have a ton of time to go hit for several hours on the weekend. 
Chip and Cern were playing Pokemon Go at one of these holes where there was a gym. It was quite the battle, but Chip and Cern came out on top.
Chip and Cern are in for next year’s tourny, so be sure to tune into that one. 
Do you have some golf clubs you want to sell Chip? Give us a shout on Twitter!
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