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Chip and Cern Show


Oct 11, 2018

Chip and Cern will be talking about Donald Trump’s penis for nearly 30 mins. If that will bother you, it would be best to tune out now, but download the episode first to boost the numbers for Chip and Cern’s egos. American Hero, Stormy Daniels, reveals how lackluster of a lay Trump was in her new book. She also shares anatomical details about his manhood. As you should expect Chip and Cern dive into the details in hypotheticals all based on no facts or evidence. 
 
1-10 on the manscaping game for Trump, Cern rates a 3. Chip thinks that Trump has a big FUMPA (fat upper penis area) and his Dunlap (belly Dunlap his dick), so he loses a few inches off the length just there. 
 
Chip and Cern agree that Trump probably wears tighty weighty Fruit of the Loom briefs.  Cern guesses there are some skid marks, and the waistband is more than likely stretched out from overuse.
 
Chip and Cern Shot in the Dark Guesses on Trump’s Penis Length:
 
Cern’ Guess
Soft: 3"
Hard: 5"
 
Chip’s Guess
Soft: 2"
Hard: 4”
 
Chip guesses that the girth is disappointing as well.
 
American Hero, Stormy Daniels, who is striking whilst the iron is hot says that Trump’s penis as smaller than average, but not freakishly small. Cern wonders if she is comparing it to “industry folks” so her mind's ruler is off. Daniels’ also notes that Trump knows he has an unusual penis, like a toadstool. 
 
Chip steps out on a limb and guesses that Trump has never pleasured a woman orally. 
 
This Lake Tahoe fuck session between Daniels and Trump sounds like it was some variation of the missionary, and the sex, according to Daniels was extremely lackluster for her.
 
Chip Googles “can you get grey pubes?” His search history is now fucked. 
 
Trump seems to have a type of woman. White, thin and more than likely blonde. 
 
Chip and Cern guess that Trump more than likely had to use some sort of erection assistant pills, but they were sure if you asked him he would tell you it works fine. 
 
Chip and Cern guess that Trump has had more than 3 lovers since 1977 (which he has been married for to 3 different women). Chip guesses that Trump has had 75-100 lovers since 1977. A good number of those, in one way or another, were paid for via some business deal, career advancement or straight up cash money. 
 
Cern says he thinks that Trump is getting laid once a year, from his wife, on his birthday, Chip guesses 5. 
 
Do you have thoughts on Trump’s penis? Let us know on Twitter at @chipandcernshow. Speaking of plugs, pick up your Chip and Cern Show swag (hats, shirts, and stickers) at www.chipandcernshow.com/shop.
 
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