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Chip and Cern Show

Oct 19, 2017

Cern went out for a jog and ended up fighting for his life against a German Shepard. Chip is already scared about Cern’s story.
Chip is finishing up his cranberry sour beer and Cern has moved on to the Melon Gose from Anderson Valley Brewing Co. 
Cern gets two sentences into his story and Chip interrupts him, no surprise there. Cern goes jogging a few times a week. A few weeks ago he is our on a jog with his headphones on and a German Shepard jumps out from behind a car and starts barking. Cern stopped and waited because this has happened a few times before, but the owner comes out and calls the dog back in.
The dog keeps barking, Cern has stopped about 100 feet away and the dog bolts towards Cern. At this point fight or flight has taken over for Cern. He remembers thinking “ok, so I’m fighting this dog.” Cern, choses fight, and squares up on this dog. It nips at his leg and Cern is pivoting and on the defensive. Cern throws a punch at this dog, which dodges and Cern slips to the ground and to one knee. For a mortal this would spell disaster, Cern has conceded to be bit by this dog, then break his neck. Fair is fair. 
Cern and the dog danced up and down the street, Cern grabs a trashcan to use as a defense shield against the dog.
At one point the dog turns to head home, then without warning it turned around and sprinted back towards Cern. A neighbor comes out with a flat head shovel to defend Cern. Cern’s adreline is pumping and his neighbor calls the cops. 
The cop shows up and of course the dog leaves the scene. The cop is a dick.  The cop isn’t too thrilled about the call out for a dog attack. Cern tells the story to the cop, and then the cop heads to the neighbor’s house to confront the owner. The cop then comes back to relay to Cern how the dog got out of the yard. Not much help for Cern. The cop wasn’t called out to find out how the dog got out of the yard. Then the cop told Cern the dog had to bite him for him to do anything. 
The neighbor more than likely had a beef with the dog owner, so he was sticking around and used Cern as his vehicle to stick it to his neighbor. 
Cern text his wife that he was attacked by a dog and she freaked out, of course. Cern got home and his wife got all Captain Hindsight on him, telling him what he should have done to avoid the dog. 
Cern has been going to the gym since the dog attack. He might trying hitting the roads again, but taking a different route. 
Cern now tells a story how he was chased by a skunk as well and nearly sprayed. On this run Cern was in the middle of the street to avoid another sunk situation, but the dog jumped out instead. 
Chip doesn’t like that Cern was attacked. Mace is the recommended defense against a dog. Cern is no longer a dog person. 
What should have Cern done against the dog? Let us know on Twitter at @chipandcernshow. Speaking of plugs, pick up your Chip and Cern Show swag (hats, shirts and stickers) at
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