Oct 19, 2017
Cern went out for a jog and ended up fighting for his life
against a German Shepard. Chip is already scared about Cern’s
story.
Chip is finishing up his cranberry sour beer and Cern has
moved on to the Melon Gose from Anderson Valley Brewing
Co.
Cern gets two sentences into his story and Chip interrupts
him, no surprise there. Cern goes jogging a few times a week. A few
weeks ago he is our on a jog with his headphones on and a German
Shepard jumps out from behind a car and starts barking. Cern
stopped and waited because this has happened a few times before,
but the owner comes out and calls the dog back in.
The dog keeps barking, Cern has stopped about 100 feet away
and the dog bolts towards Cern. At this point fight or flight has
taken over for Cern. He remembers thinking “ok, so I’m fighting
this dog.” Cern, choses fight, and squares up on this dog. It nips
at his leg and Cern is pivoting and on the defensive. Cern throws a
punch at this dog, which dodges and Cern slips to the ground and to
one knee. For a mortal this would spell disaster, Cern has conceded
to be bit by this dog, then break his neck. Fair is
fair.
Cern and the dog danced up and down the street, Cern grabs a
trashcan to use as a defense shield against the dog.
At one point the dog turns to head home, then without warning
it turned around and sprinted back towards Cern. A neighbor comes
out with a flat head shovel to defend Cern. Cern’s adreline is
pumping and his neighbor calls the cops.
The cop shows up and of course the dog leaves the scene. The
cop is a dick. The cop isn’t too thrilled about the call out
for a dog attack. Cern tells the story to the cop, and then the cop
heads to the neighbor’s house to confront the owner. The cop then
comes back to relay to Cern how the dog got out of the yard. Not
much help for Cern. The cop wasn’t called out to find out how the
dog got out of the yard. Then the cop told Cern the dog had to bite
him for him to do anything.
The neighbor more than likely had a beef with the dog owner,
so he was sticking around and used Cern as his vehicle to stick it
to his neighbor.
Cern text his wife that he was attacked by a dog and she
freaked out, of course. Cern got home and his wife got all Captain
Hindsight on him, telling him what he should have done to avoid the
dog.
Cern has been going to the gym since the dog attack. He might
trying hitting the roads again, but taking a different
route.
Cern now tells a story how he was chased by a skunk as well
and nearly sprayed. On this run Cern was in the middle of the
street to avoid another sunk situation, but the dog jumped out
instead.
Chip doesn’t like that Cern was attacked. Mace is the
recommended defense against a dog. Cern is no longer a dog
person.
What should have Cern done against the dog? Let us know
on Twitter at @chipandcernshow. Speaking of plugs, pick up your
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