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Chip and Cern Show


Jun 16, 2016

It is hot in the valley. Cern’s wife threw a party, so this a pre-party podcast. Chip and Cern are drinking Summer Shandy on his hot day baking in Cern’s garage. Very fruity and refreshing. 
 
From barstoolsports.com the 6, 12, 18, 24 Challenge. 
 
6, 12, 18, 24 is the amount of times you have to compete the following in a 24hr period. 
 
  1. Jacking/Jilling Off to completion 
  2. Running/walking miles
  3. Donuts eaten
  4. Beers drank
 
Chip’s penis us hurting from thinking of jacking it 6 times. You can do whatever order and stragiety to win. You cannot throw up. You can combine two things like running/walking whilst drinking beers. No requirements on type of beer or donuts that must be consumed. 
 
This would obviously be done on a weekend. For the beers you need the emptys to prove, no keg beers. Saturday is when Chip would start the challenge and Cern would start the challenge at 8am. 
 
Beer is going to be one of the bigger numbers.
 
Chip doesn’t know Cern’s jack schedule, so he is going with 6 jacks. Maybe knock two out early then you need a break to recharge. Might have to get the jacks done with early cause if you are 10 beers deep you might have a hard time getting the next few jacks off. 
 
Plus you are eating the donuts, so your body isn’t getting good nutrients. 
 
Chip says he would do maybe the 18 or 24 miles of running cause of all his triathlon and running experience. 
 
Cern says, without thought, 6 jacks, 12 donuts, 18 miles, and 24 beers. 
 
You can split your running up, so you might want to do some in the morning then the rest at night.
 
Chip and Cern agree you gotta stick to Bud Light or Coors Light for the beer if you want any chance in hell of surviving. 
 
Chip says running whilst drunk isn’t a good idea or very easy to do. Might be easy to go to a track.
 
Cern isn’t a donut fan, but he could crush a glazed. Two and he is feeling ehhhh.
 
Early in the am you gotta knock out some donuts, about two jacks and a few beers. 
 
Joe was supposed to come on cause he is good at 3 of these, everything but the running. 
 
Chip and Cern can’t even imagine how anyone can jack 12 times. Chip and Cern lock 6 jacks, and 24 beers for SuperFan Joe. 
 
Chip can’t drink 24 beers anymore. He would need to get regular food during this challenge. Maybe needs a PB&J for himself.
 
Chip suggests putting 3 donuts on a longneck and working on them that way. 
 
Running is the X FACTOR in the challenge says Cern. 
 
Chip is thinking of breaking up the 24 mile run. Also he suggests taking a nap during the day, recharge the battery. 
 
“We need a spotter,” says Chip. Chip and Cern think that wives would make a good spotter. Help with some jack material and keep you on task.
 
If you can jack 12 times in 24hrs email chipandcernshow@gmail.com and you will get a free tee shirt. 
 
Ladies would have to jill off 6 times, which is nearly impossible because they need candles and romantic stuff to get all worked up. That is stumbling block for women. 
 
If you are an avg Joe you will prob have to go for the 12 miles of running.
 
Chip’s new line up. 6 jacks, 12 donuts, 18 beers and 24 miles.
 
Cern’s line up. 6 jacks, 12 donuts, 18 miles and 24 beers.
 
You gotta to Krispy cream donut or Dunkin glazed because they are the smaller ones and easiest to go down.
 
Chip has a new strategy of smashing donuts down into one bigger donut. Maybe beer funnel down a few beers, but that is just one beer. 
 
What would you do when you are drinking all these beers? 
 
Chip is starting his day with a nice jack, a nice beer, donut and coffee. Wait he might just head right out on that run. 
 
18 miles. You could run 3 then walk one and drink beers. 
 
Cern has an epiphany that jacking is the factor. You don’t want to save your jacks to right in the morning.
 
You don’t want to put off challenges until the 11th hour. 
 
Chip makes a Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra reference like the old man he is. Who are this generation’s Pam Anderson? JLaw from the Fappening.
 
Having a good spotter is key.
 
Donuts might be the easiest thing to do. 
 
Chip’s new new plan. Wakes at 9, two jacks in 1hr then a few beers. Then makes his first donut brick. 2-3pm he is gonna need a Chipotle burrito. 
 
Do you mix in water in-between beers to try to tone down your drunk level?
 
Since Cern is doing 24 beers to every 6th beer he will have some water. 
 
You don’t want to get over the hump on the beer buzz and going down shit mountain cause you will be in a world of hurt. There is no coming back from shit mountain. 
 
Cern will have Mexican food for his regular meal during the day. He will lay off the chips and salsa tho. Or make a burrito with a few donuts in there. Scramble some eggs, avocado, 2-3 donuts. Fuck Chip just reinvented the wheel. 
 
You need to start the day with some jacks and some running. This Chip and Cern can agree on. This should happen before noon. That would leave Cern with 20 beers, 4 jacks 14 donuts. Then Cern gets himself some lunch, Mexican food as discussed earlier then have a few beers with lunch. After your 3rd jack of the day you will be pretty centered for the day. After lunch you need an other jack in, but you gotta get to work on drinking beers. The time is 2pm and you have over 9 beers in 5 hours. 
 
If there was Challenge Party, which would get awkward quickly, Chip drinks better in social situations. 
 
Cern is on his 3rd jack around noon and looking to get his next jack in around 3pm. Chip thinks naps are a good idea so your balls can recharge and you can sober up a bit. The key of a spotter is stressed again. At 7pm Cern need to run his last 9 miles. Try to run 7 miles then the last 2 miles would be beer drinking and cool down. 
 
Those last few jacks you will need to dig deep. Finish all your beers then take your sleep. Set the alarm and wake up with a few more donuts and a jack. 
 
Chip’s new new new plan. Wake up at 9. Two jacks, two beers, 4-5 donuts. Then he is going to run and not drink beer, well maybe 1-2 beers. 14 beers left, no running. 4 jacks and 13 donuts in 6 hours, so it is 2pm. After the run and Chipotle, another jack and drinking and a few donuts. Hopefully gets inspired to jack during the Giants game. The 3rd jack will need to be done by the end of the Giant’s game. Careful about riding that buzzed line to shit mountain. So by the end of the night Chip is done with beers, running and needs 8 donuts and 3 jacks. He estimates he can save 1 jack for the morning and a few donuts. 
 
Chip thinks the donut brick will be key to donuts consumption. 
 
Who has it harder Chip or Cern? Cern has more beers to drink, but Chip is running further.
 
How would you plan out your 6, 12, 18, 24 Challenge? Email, tweet or contact us and let us know!
 
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